Ozzy Man Reviews: Yoga Fails

Let’s get in touch with our mind and body everyone. Yeah nah this week, we’re slowing things down with yoga. My first tip is that it’s really important to remember your breathing… I believe the words she said under those censorship bleeps were fuck and shit. Now she’s saying “Strewth. That bloody hurt. Why am I doing this? Who even am I? I smell like tiger balm and I need an ice pack.” That’s it. Relax the neck. Your brain is a calm blue ocean. Prepare your palms. Your hands are a dry sandy desert. Imagine your goals, aspirations, and ambitions. Imagine achieving them. Throw away all ya negative energy and ya problems. Raise your arms, charge towards a wall, hit it, and create new problems! Dogs take yoga very seriously. This one’s like: “Jennifer, you call that downward dog? Yeah, nah, put your balls into it. Make sure they salute the sun. I’m a dog, so yeah, I think I know how to do this pose properly. Oh the Invasive Starfish pose. Clearly this can be done anywhere! If you find yourself getting angry in peak hour traffic then yeah, just jump out of the car and start doing a three hour session to pass the time. “How many times do we have to go over this, Karen? Stretch your leg and HOOOLD. I could do it all year if I wanted to, I just have other shit to do is all. But it’s easy peasy. Don’t get cute with me.” Quit doing Yoga! Quit doing Yoga and play with me or I will straight up grab you in the Donald Trump, DONE. Steady breathing, Steady breathing. Steady breathing… Aw here’s a couple doing yoga together. Vomit. If I had to come up with a name for this particular pose I’d call it: Fuck Me That Drone is Awfully Close Ouch It Got Me. It’s a long name but it’s easy to remember. “Let’s do Yoga together” she said. “It will be super-duper relaxing.” she said. There is no way this guy does not wish he was at the pub smashing a mid strength beer and a steak sandwich right now. Dear me! Expert level unlocked. Fresh air PLUS yoga. Yeah this woman is attempting the bridge pose, quite literally on a bridge. There’s absolutely no chance of anything going wrong. She’s arching her back, she’s breathing, she’s doing everything right but her left leg is being an arsehole. She puts it down, regroups, inhales, exhales, tries to lift it again…actually, I no longer think this is part of the pose, I think she’s 100% stuck. She slowly tries to get unstuck and falls in the river. Unfortunately, there will be no Instagram content recorded for her today. Overall, this pug is my spirit animal. This is pretty much what I do when I get invited to a yoga class. And then I get kicked out and banned for life… which is fair enough.

100 thoughts on “Ozzy Man Reviews: Yoga Fails

  1. I wonder how a person must feel about themselves in order to think putting shit like this online is a smart thing to do. Did you ask yourself if these people would want these videos to be viewed by the entire world? You and your psychopathic "Destination Fucked" series; I wonder where your brain is. You cater to empathy-devoid reprobates.

  2. The girl in the first clip might be the most uncoordinated girl ive ever seen. Fall straight down or fall back…. Why twist and fall?

  3. I'm surprised the second one 🤢 didn't go through the wall. The rest of em made this worth watching though. Very few videos actually make me laugh out loud, this one did several times.

  4. Now if only the rest of the laydees on Tinder who love their dog and are really into yoga could do us a favour and also fall in a river it would really go a long way towards making Australia great again.
    You know, cuz of how much water we can save and those mats are fucked for the environment hey plus we could reduce the amount of plastic water bottles being used. Chucking massive spreadies on yoga mats does fuck all for the economy, someone has to give a toss about it cuz Scomo clearly doesn't give a rats arse.
    I'm glad the owner of that dog didn't have its nuts lopped off, the video wouldn't have been worth watching if they had.

  5. My wife and I are in the Caribbean for vacation and she unfortunately got the flu. We’ve been binging these vids together in our hotel room and having a great laugh. Thanks for making her feel better.

  6. "Jennifer?! You call that downward dog? Yeah nah, put your balls into it! Make sure they salute the sun!" 😂😂😂😂😂

  7. I sometimes find funny videos on Facebook that are missing voice over so I give it a voice over with you because you’re flipping hilarious. Anyways here’s one of the videos I’m talking about… https://fbwat.ch/1zwQFTsaij2RLFUY

  8. Watching dumbasses do dumbass activities is always entertaining but when there exists commentary by Ozzy Man it turns into a MUST WATCH video of joy. Thank you, Mr. Ozzy Man.

  9. This is literally the first video with Indian back ground music which is actually Indian music. Good on ya for not taking something that is created on stereotypes of what our music sounds like!!

  10. Hello all! I'm Indian. The Indian background music brought me to tears!

    Happy curry day!..

    i mean.. new year or whataver..

  11. This is what happens when you spread a workout around the world without one book created by experts in that field, with a cautious warning and do not upgrade warning!

  12. Happy New Year, Ozzy Man! You're a bloody legend, mate! Thanks to you now I speak English with aussie accent.

  13. No b.s i go to my local club fitness open yoga classes anywhere from 9-1 am because thats when either the single milfs or not single and or just women go who for w.e reason no b.s flirt so hard with me. And i mean im not super hot by any means. Im 25 years old6'8" with light brown hair. But women also love to look at decent looking men in shorts or sweat pants as much as we do men. And after class ill walk up to cutest lady who definitely was looking at me and talk to her first in hopes that either a hotter woman who didnt look at me or i didnt see will come up to talk due to jealousy which gives best odds of me not having to wait 15 mins to do another session and hoping simple talking introducing myself and asking them what got them to join which always they ask me back. Men i highly recommend you take muay ti training or boxing or any real martial art for a few months or more. Because women after i tell them i did that before i broke my back and needed to get back in shape after having two major life threatning spine surgeries on june 6th and 20th 2018. They all wanna see my scar on my stomach and my back then i tell them that im happy im not in agony every moment tho times like now when im in pain i wish i could get a back much needed back massage from anyone. Boys i promise you 9/10 women and i say that because i dont wanna aay how many women exactly didnt offer. But 9/10 will offer you if they were checking you out a back massage if youll teach them some self defense. And there ya go always make sure they give you massage first if they want one. And ask her to bring towels to cover yourself if she isnt comfortable with you being butt naked while she massages you. Idk if its just my luck but boyyyy is it amazing getting a hot milf whose kids are at school to be giving you a back massage then a leg massage because my pain shoots into my legs i tell them if they didnt bring a towel damn maybe u should have brought a towel because the pain is shooting around my thighs into front of thigh. And damn does shit pop off when every single one of them says oh you can turn onto your back its nothing i havent seen. And its even better if you get to massage her and see if shes willing to be fully naked while massaging. Fuck yea yoga who ever started it did it for the boys no doubt especially yoga pants

  14. People who do yoga obviously don't have a good sex life, as my girlfriend can do all those positions in one night without getting out of bed.

  15. Nobnody gonna mention the couple doing yoga together, VOMIT line? Lol, I heard you sir and I laughed quite loudly lol.

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