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hey guys and welcome back ~ this video we’re gonna talk
how to relax and how to de-stress for as much as I talk about self-care.. the importance of self-care the importance of making time for yourself the importance of taking care of yourself the importance of sleeping early..
of eating healthily.. of doing all the good things
that you know will be good for you.. I haven’t been doing any of that at all a few days ago I woke up with a huge kink in my lower neck upper back.. right here my range of motion was like this when I went to sleep or when I got up after laying down I’d either get stuck like a roly poly or I’d have to use my hands.. slowly.. gently lay myself down or like come up and it’s just yeah.. it’s interesting how we will prolong or we will not do something that
we know we should do for a long time until something bad happens,
like you know physical pain and so this video.. 6 very practical self-care tips on how to go from.. where I was a few days ago to you know today I feel like aside from this stress pimple I think I’m doing pretty okay soo let’s get started ~ so the first thing that I do
is make time for myself so that I’ll be able to have time to think
and to be alone in my thoughts and to have some sort of
an outlet to get my thoughts out even if it’s just writing it down even if it’s just talking to myself
or talking to myself in my head or actually physically talking to a person I know that’s kind of counterintuitive because you want to make time for yourself but when you’re talking to a friend about these things like it also kind of works when I’m really stressed,
I tend to turn into the biggest hermit and I just shut off the world, I shut off people I like disconnect myself with people and I’m just so stressed by myself and I’m stressed that I’m stressing and I’m stressed that I’m by myself stressing and then it is just like
this really bad cycle of life 🌀🌀🌀 ~ it’s not fun ~ so.. make time for yourself and that could be in the form of
writing, meditating, journaling.. going for a walk, cooking for yourself so many things taking a bath something that really helps me is actually cleaning I talk about this a lot or taking a shower just mindless tasks like washing dishes or vacuuming the floor
or sweeping the floor going on autopilot your brain can wander and think of.. ok, so why Rowena~ why are you so stressed? what is it really that you’ve been going through? how do you feel? are you really okay? and the most important thing
with making time for yourself is.. we innately already all know
what we can do to make ourselves feel better but there’s like a huge difference between
knowing and actually doing something I know meditating will make me feel better I know how to meditate I know how to journal I know how to write up my thoughts I know how to be alone by myself but if I don’t actually do it, than none of it matters same thing with how poorly I’ve been eating doesn’t matter if my pantry is stocked
with a bunch of superfoods and a bunch of dietary supplements
and a bunch of vitamins if I don’t actually take it..
it’s not actually gonna help me again, the first thing is to make time for yourself and know that you need to actually
do the things instead of just think about it growing up in society,
growing up in this world today.. where we all have to be performing all the time “on” all the time operating at full capacity all the time whenever we feel like we’re less than that whenever we feel that we’re not good enough and whenever we compare
ourselves to other people and we look at other people’s lives and see how productive they are
and how well they’re doing we tend to be even harder on ourselves so I’ve been reading the new book by Gary Vaynerchuk and there’s a sentence in there
that really stuck out to me he mentioned the law of thermodynamics and how whatever energy you put into something will manifests itself in
equal amounts when it comes out so if you’re stressed about being stressed
then you’re just gonna keep being stressed if you think you’re not good enough if you think you’re not capable enough.. then that’s gonna be the result of what you do and how you feel and how you treat yourself it’s okay if you’re stressed it’s okay that you feel not great all the time because we’re human and because it happens so accept the fact that you’re stressed
and that that’s okay or accept the fact that you’re not feeling the best and that that’s totally fine there’s a couple ways to categorize
these types of stressors and why you’re stressing I think the most straightforward one
is internal or external it could be both so internal is expectations for yourself.. voices in your head telling yourself
you’re not good enough you’re not whatever enough being a perfectionist wanting things to be done a certain way just anything internal like voices in your head and there’s external so external could be your relationship
with people.. anyone, family, friends.. conflicts or it can even be something
like environmental factors a little may be out of your control commuting, it could be crowding,
it could be pollution.. anything all of these are causes of stress some of them are a lot more apparent like the voices in your head
telling yourself you’re not good enough but a lot of these things are things that like daily hassles we don’t really think of it because we’re just doing or maybe even the voices in your head maybe it’s been just there for so long
that you just kind of accept it as who you are and accept it as reality and accept it as truth when it shouldn’t be
because we should love ourselves and silence those voices in her head
because they’re not nice so why have I been stressed? why have I been stressed? life changes in any form whether it’s like positive, negative, or just even neutral it’s a life change and it’s a situation that makes you have to cope makes you have to deal with,
makes you have to adjust so like any change.. any change will cause some sort of stress and this is a good place to say that
stress in moderate amounts is good we need it to survive ever since, you know, our ancestors from
their hunting and gathering like you need stress.. but too much stress is not a good thing so there’s two ways
people tend to manage stress the first we’re going to talk about is defensive coping and defensive coping is exactly as it sounds it’s very reactive you usually distract yourself and you usually divert
the attention of the stress to be like.. ~ if I’m stressed, but I’m gonna drink ~ ~ I’m stressed, but I’m gonna do something else ~ I’m gonna avoid it, I’m gonna go party.. or watch Korean dramas
because that’s what I’ve been doing and usually defensive coping comes at a cost
because instead of dealing and managing.. you’re just pushing it aside
to deal with it at later time and it usually compounds and
grows into this giant mountain of stress that one day it’ll crush you
and you’ll be like ~ why am I so stressed it’s like ~ duh ~ because you’re putting it off aggression, regression, avoidance of problems which is like withdrawing yourself
from social situations, any situation.. self-deception which can be rationalizing
why it’s okay that you’re feeling this way or just complete denial of the fact that like.. ~ oh ya, no I’m fine ~ ~ like I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine ~ and then there’s active coping rational evaluation of our capacities
to manage stressors as best we can and planning efficient ways to cushion its impact and let’s just move on to the fifth point because we will talk about ways of active coping we kind of talked about this in the first section where there’s a huge difference
between knowing and actually doing so this is the doing the active coping, the being proactive.. the playing offense versus playing defense the doing the things that
we know will make us feel better and will make us more chill and not as stressed I categorized my stressors into five categories I identified what it is and then what I’m going to do to help myself do better first thing is relationship with
my work and time on the computer I spend way too much time
hunched over like a little hunchback ya, that’s not okay because
that’s really bad for my posture that’s very bad for my neck that’s very bad for just like
my overall well-being and like my eyeballs what I do is I keep a water on my desk and I keep drinking it, keep refilling it
so that once it’s done.. I need to refill it and stand up
and then I need to go to the restroom and I need to stand up or I’ll go outside for a walk, look at greenery my mom actually put me on
a very strict schedule of every one hour.. I need to go outside for at least
10 minutes to look at the sky to look at the flowers,
to look at the plants, to look at green things so if you can’t go outside, just get up and stretch or even just to breathe I mean, we’re breathing on a day-to-day basis but there’s a difference between
shallow breaths and deep breaths next thing is my body my body has been very tense being hunched over on a computer
like overextending my neck and just.. that’s not cool I’ll link down below a video
my cousin sent me a while ago for every hour you work, you stand against a wall and then you do some arm raises to kind of
straighten out your back, realign your spine also what really helps that I’ve been
completely neglecting is qi gong what qi gong does is
it helps regulates the qi in your body or like the energy in your body and if you’re like.. ~ ooo, what is that?? ~ basically to me it’s like..
there’s also a lot of stretching and it helps calm you down and it helps ground you and I’ll also link down below the exercises that I do and if you’re interested in
learning from someone in person.. I’ll also link down local contacts where
you can find people to learn this from next is sleeping I’ve been sleeping at very irregular hours I’ve been traveling back and forth
between New York and LA a lot when I’m back in New York, it’s like.. ~ it’s 6:00 a.m…that’s ok, it’s 3:00 a.m. in LA ~ ~ it’s not that late ~ and I’m up like watching Korean dramas and I’m very ashamed of myself because that actually happened a few weeks ago that just goes to show
how much I wanted to escape and how stressed I was
and how defensive coping I was yeah, glad I’m not there anymore been doing a lot better there’s this video I have of
how to wake up early that I made that I obviously need to watch for myself another thing is nutrition I think of all the things.. all of these are all very very important especially what you consume and what you eat of course drinking more water,
more vegetables, more greenery.. more fruits, more natural foods will help all of this, it’s like okay.. make more time to cook, to actually cook put more effort into what I eat and be more mindful of what I’m eating and also putting superfood / vitamins where I can see them so they’re easily accessible and I’ll actually remember to take them and the last thing is I get in my own
head too much when I’m stressed I won’t go out for weeks at a time I won’t talk to many people I already don’t talk to many
people on a day-to-day basis day-to-day basis* talking it out with friends.. actually this whole thing started
turning around when I met up with Patrick you guys remember Patrick? I was able to talk it out with him he asked me questions, he listened.. and with that, he helped me
realize why I was stressed why I’ve been so stressed and for that, I’m very grateful and I just wonder why I didn’t do that sooner when you’re grateful, you can’t feel
anything else than gratitude I can confidently say that for
the past three weeks I did not feel grateful I don’t.. I mean there’s spurts, right? but for the most part,
because I was more overwhelmed with this not-the-most-positive
feeling of being stressed.. I just couldn’t be grateful that.. wow, it’s so amazing that I am alive
and that I can do something like this and that I can share my experience
and my story with you guys as I’m learning so that we can all learn together it’s just, it’s so silly that we kind of do that to ourselves so it’s like turning “I can’t” to “I can” turning the voices in your head where your like.. ~ omg, why are you doing this again ~ ~ why did you do this – I needuhdduhdduh ~ ~ why Rowena, like your so dduhdudhdh ~ turn that into like a.. hey, you know like,
you made a mistake, it’s okay or like.. hey, like you’re not feeling the best, it’s okay like take a break, take a rest, sit down.. postpone the posting date for a video like the world’s not gonna end
if you don’t do this thing taking yourself out of the equation, I guess or just being more mindful,
grateful, intentional, compassionate.. I think at the end of the day that’s what will really help
move this world forward and help make this world a much better place if we can all cultivate our hearts.. and ourselves to try to do
the best we can where we are remember that whatever it is
that you’re going through whatever it is that you’re stressed about.. it’s okay to feel the way you feel,
it’s okay to be the way you are it’s okay to be who you are,
to feel what you feel and remember you’re not alone I’m not alone, we’re all not alone we have each other we all go through the same things maybe some people are
better at hiding it than people maybe some people learn
how to manage it better but at the end of the day, we’re all human we all go through these things and it’s totally fine and lastly, thank you so much
to Care/of for sponsoring this video as with everything we talked about.. they believe that everyone
has their own individual journey that they have their own
individual path to personal health and their mission is to help you
find yours through.. vitamins! this is so cute there’s your name on there ~ harro ~ and then.. vitamins! oh and there’s also one of them that’s for stress it’s called The Chill Pill – Ashwagandha ~ ahhh, dees one ~ helps relieve occasional stress so, what is Care/of? Care/of delivers daily vitamins and supplement packs
customized to your personal needs take a five minute quiz and certain basic questions
about your lifestyle, habits, and health goals this is pretty much a free consultation with a nutritionist who recommends the best supplements for you and it’s a great way to learn about yourself if this is something you think you need in your life or if this is something that you want to try go to takecareof.com and then
check out using the code rowenatsai and you’ll get 25% off your first purchase I hope you guys enjoyed this video I hope you guys liked this message at the end and yeah, let me know your thoughts.. what you think, how you stress, why you stress if this video was helpful,
if it made you less stressed andduhh.. see you guys in the next video thank you always for being here I love you guys what was that, I don’t know *finger hearts* baiii ~

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