Hey everybody, welcome. Welcome, this is the global community for adult survivors of complex trauma and we have been showing up here every Monday 6 p.m. Pacific/9 p.m. Eastern for about 5 years now and if you’re in crisis, this is not a place for crisis care, we have wonderful volunteers who will be posting information in the in the chat box and down below in the comment section for you to be able to access crisis information so that you can get the care that you deserve, but in the meantime, if you’re not in crisis and you’re just here to hang out and have a community discussion about self-care, then welcome. I’m so happy you’ve chosen to be here. We’re just gonna hang out together and sort of watch the birdies and see what we might be able to see, the birdies that sometimes they’ll fly by and sometimes they’ll decide to land in the grass by the little dandelions and stuff while we’re talking, but this is just a relaxed environment for us to hang out together and just be around other people who are kind and helpful and they’re not going to judge us or try to fix us, we’re just here to have an open discussion about ways that we can care for ourselves as complex trauma survivors. So if that’s what you’re looking for you’re in the right place and just really grateful to be here with you for you know, 45 minutes to an hour. A very special thank you to Shannon for being here and for posting all of the crisis information for our community, we really,really appreciate it. Sending lots of love out to Poppy and for those who showed up live. Hello to Hunter and John Harvey and Miss Beach Boxer and Pixie Painter and Vi and Jeffery Sherman and… I feel like I’m missing somebody Tabby Bar, I know I’m probably missing about 10 of you who were actually here, but I just wanted to say hello and just acknowledge your presence, I acknowledge your presence here in our community and let you know we appreciate you being here and hope that you are able to receive the support that you deserve, you know, it’s not always… self-care doesn’t look the same on one given day as it does another day. Welcome to Joey, so happy to see you Joey. You know… self-care looks different to me than it does to you and self-care looks different today than it will look tomorrow or maybe self-care looks different today than it did yesterday. So for instance, you know, sometimes the very best thing you can do for yourself is drink extra water, because your body’s dehydrated and maybe it’s not functioning to its optimum capacity or it’s the way that it… possibly it’s not functioning optimally as a result of being dehydrated and we might not even know that that’s what it is. Perhaps self-care will look like getting extra rest, going to bed a little bit earlier, planning your life a little bit differently so that you can get a little bit extra rest. Welcome to Angela, I’m so happy to see you. Sometimes self-care would mean eating… eating like extra, an extra serving of green vegetables, dark leafy greens, sometimes self-care means just walking outside and feeling the breeze or you know walking down to the end of the block and back and getting our heart rate up just a little bit, sometimes self-care could mean getting away from all of the chaos and the people and maybe just sitting and reading a book, doing something that we feel would benefit us or soothe our soul. Yeah, Jeffrey says sometimes self-care is slowing down. Joey says it’s too hot here to walk outside, I wish it was cooler.
Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Tabby Bar says, chocolate, lots and lots of chocolate.
John Harvey says, music is my self-care and Vi says I’m sitting here and drinking coffee. Mmm, you know, all of these things you know, these things that we choose, many of them are soothing for us. You’re gonna know… Mmm Angela says a pot of tea is my self-care. All these are such great suggestions, I’m thinking of Hunter right now. If I were sitting with Hunter, having a talk with Hunter, Hunter would probably say, sometimes drawing is good self-care or playing video game, you know, that’s what I think my recovery buddy would say self-care was and sometimes having a recovery buddy is self-care, sometimes photography is self-care. Vi says it helps my soul to listen to Athena.
Oh, that’s so awesome, thank you. Huh? I thought you would think so Hunter. Hunter says both of us are good Hunter says, stuffed animals are soothing for my little. Absolutely. Ooh, Cheryl says hi everyone. That’s a beautiful view. Thank you so much. I know, it’s blowing today. It’s windy and so when it’s windy we can see the other island really,really well, it looks very crisp. Hmm sometimes it’s not, sometimes it’s like you can’t really see the island because it’s really like raining or cuz it rains a lot. Angela says I sleep with my stuffed bunny every night. That’s awesome. These are all such great, great examples. So, I have a couple of things that I want to share with you guys, which I think are good for self-care. Oh, did you see the birdie flyby? There goes another birdie. Did you see it? I’m hoping you can see the things I’m seeing. Oh, John Harvey says, pure leaf extra sweet tea. Mmm, yummy. Pixie Painter says spending time with my Cats, Rabbits and Iguana is my self-care. Yes Hey, JJ. JJ says yes. Joey says doing things for others as myself, they’re self-care because it makes me feel valuable. That’s wonderful Joey, make sure you don’t ever do that to your own detriment. I know, I’m guilty of this Joey. I love doing things for others, it’s one of my forms of self-care, it makes me feel valuable and I am guilty of doing and doing and doing and doing and then doing some more and then doing and doing and doing some more and then doing and doing and doing because it makes me feel valuable all to the point, but then I’m like completely burned out and I’m like gosh, why do I feel so awful and horrible. Oh, I know, because I was doing and doing and doing and doing for others and I wasn’t taking care of myself, you know, I’m not saying that that’s what you’re doing.
I’m just saying that that can happen sometimes. It happened to me, maybe it’s just me. Vi says, I’m at someone else’s house. Pet-sitting animals are good for the soul. Yes, they are. John Harvey says, avoiding people is my self-care. John Harvey you make me laugh and laughter is my self-care, so there Joey says no, It happens to me too, but as long as they are happy, it makes me happy. Oh, I hear what you’re saying Joey and I want to encourage you, that’s wonderful but you know, when we’re only happy when other people are happy then that is like… that’s a codependent loop that we get sucked into and then it’s a cycle and it can be very difficult to break that, as long as you find other ways to feel fulfilled Joey, other than helping others, if there’s anything else in the whole wide world that you can do, that’s just for you and not feeling better by only helping others and that’s the only way you feel better and then you feel happy as long as they’re happy. If you can find ways to feel happy that are not dependent upon another person, then that is going to help you a lot in the long run. I’m not saying don’t help others, that’s not what I’m saying at all. I think it’s wonderful that you like to help others, I just want you to be aware that sometimes we can get sucked into that and it will take over and we won’t even realize it. Tabby Bar says we really like to wrap up and be alone in my mom cave more than chocolate, but it’s too hot right now to wrap up. Yeah, it is really warm. Vi says, I was pretty much raised by an animal. JJ says I found out I’m not a black market baby this week. My real father just lied to everyone and didn’t want responsibility for me. I’m offering you so much comfort JJ. I don’t know all that you’re going through, but that’s a lot to manage, even if it is good news, it’s still a lot to manage you know, just offering you compassion. Vi says I’ve done too much and hit a brick wall today, so now I’m doing nothing. Yeah, that definitely happens. Vi says, yes avoiding people is good self-care. So I wanted to share a couple things with you all and I think that it will help someone. So, I’m gonna look away from the screen because you know how I have a hard time if I’m looking at all of you, hanging out with you and seeing you, then I won’t be able to think and complete my sentences sometimes, so this is what I wanted to share with you. So I was able to reconnect and re meet a friend of mine from high school, we have not seen one another in 25 years and he and his girlfriend and his son were visiting and I got to tell you, it was absolutely wonderful to reconnect and re meet my friend. We went out to dinner and we took pictures and we learned all about one another’s families and goals and dreams and and our children and careers and just all the things and you know, many of you know that… Many of you know exponentially more than my friend that I reconnected with who doesn’t know anything basically about my upbringing or anything you know, just remembers me from school and you know when we’re in school and we think that someone can just look at us and they know that we are you know, (quote unquote) you know, “ruined” and tarnished and used up and abused and flawed and gross and disgusting and fat and dumb and stupid and clumsy and all the words that we think that everybody else thinks of us because those are words that were said to us or the words that we were called or just deductive reasoning, just a conclusion that we came to by you know, weighing all the facts of what it is that we’ve gone through, so I had my entire trauma history, front and center, in my face, anticipating getting ready to meet up with, reconnect with and re-meet my friend and so I had a lot of anxiety, anticipatory anxiety as one of my clients loves to say. Anticipatory anxiety, thinking, oh my goodness, like I don’t want to be that person, I don’t want to be that flawed gross you know, person, who’s so different and other than and doesn’t fit in and all the things, you know, it was easy for me to sort of go into sort of a like a woe is me, like a victimized state or a stigmatized state in preparation for you know going out for a nice dinner. I mean, I never go out to dinner, like ever, unless it’s my anniversary or my birthday or my husband’s birthday, like we don’t go out to dinner, we really just cook it and like where we hang out at our house, our little apartment and we enjoy one another’s company and we have a very simple life and so it was nice to be able to go out to a really nice dinner and you know put on makeup and do my hair and get dressed and you know wear something nicer than I would normally wear and… But at the same time, I was managing all of these memories and these perceptions that I had of myself and I got to tell you one of the greatest things I was able to do as a means of self-care was to bring all of that and all of those sort of cognitive distortions and anxieties and elements of hyper-vigilance and fear and just all of my trauma history, I was able to bring all of it, an unedited version of that, to my trauma therapist and I was able to just tell her very candidly and openly what I was experiencing and the fears and the thoughts and the ways in which I was perceiving this reconnection or re-meeting of my friend would go and I mean obviously like my friend had no idea that I was thinking all these thoughts, ‘cuz he doesn’t have any idea about my trauma history, you know, all he knows me as is the person who sat behind him in photography class, you know and so here, I had all of this stuff that I was sort of managing and juggling and I was able to bring this raw unedited version of all the things that I was managing and thinking about and juggling and sort of brooding over and I was able to get it all out and in a way that felt authentic and cathartic and you want to know what my trauma therapist said to me which was really, really, really, really helpful, was she says, you know Athena, I want you to… And now, mind you she’s EMDR trained and you know she’s trauma trained, she’s trauma-informed, she’s a trauma specialist, so everything that I share with you guys, that I experience within the context of my therapeutic interactions with my trauma-informed providers you know, obviously, that’s something that I would recommend for you if it feels safe. So, I thought it would be really helpful for me to share my process with you, because I know… I wish that someone would have shared their process with me so that I would know what the heck I was doing, even if my process wasn’t the same as theirs, at least I would know like oh, like, that’s possible, healing is possible. She was feeling all those things and thinking all those thoughts and having all those embody sensations and emotional flashbacks and feelings of anxiety and trepidation and fear and hyper-vigilance and all the things and she dumped it all out in the middle of the floor with her trauma therapist and explained to her trauma therapists all the things.
Now mind you, in my mind, now I’m the patient in this point, I’m the mental health consumer, I’m the patient, I mean, I’m technically a patient leader because I am also a person that is trauma-informed and I am in leadership for you know, mental health community members, but I’m a patient in this particular moment, only not a patient leader, a patient, but just a person that’s struggling and needs help from a mental health professional. So, I brought in all my junk and I dumped out this big pile of mixed up junk that was all ruined and gross and sticky and needed it was just gross and all of it was stuck together and it was confusing and overwhelming and I just dumped it all in a big disgusting pile, like have you all ever cleaned out your closets and then just piled everything in the middle of the room and you just sat there looking at it, going like, how am I even going to sort this out? Like, I don’t even know how to sort it into like one bag that goes into the garbage and another bag that goes into donate and like another bag that is like you know, keep it maybe or sell it at a yard sale and then like the smallest pile ever is like what you’re actually gonna keep, like I decided that it would be a fantastic idea to empty out my entire office area and all the closets in the entire house into the middle of the living room and so that’s an actual physical representation of like what I’m going on like inside my body with my own process of dealing with this anxiety, of reconnecting with someone that I had not seen in 25 years and so the irony doesn’t escape me, I realize it’s absolutely hilarious, okay? I do realize that. So the self-care part of this is… what I’m trying to tell you about the most is that the way I took care of myself was I asked for help. Now, it’s really key for me to mention to you that I didn’t ask for help from someone I wasn’t sure was safe. Again, don’t miss this, the process I’m sharing with you right now in both instances, both my internal process of dealing with all of these swirly, gross, overwhelming feelings that I decided to dump in a big huge pile in the middle of my trauma therapist office, that example along with the example of me deciding to take my entire office and all the closets in the entire house and dump them all in a big pile in my living room, these both happened concurrently. I still have a big pile in my living room that I’m dealing with and it feels much better today as a result of the same reason why I feel much better today after meeting with my trauma therapist and that is I asked for help. Remember earlier in the beginning of this conversation when I said that self-care would look different for you than it would for me and self-care would look different today than it did yesterday or maybe tomorrow, well, what I’m trying to share with you is my process and that is that I was able to discern and distinguish who was safe versus who is unsafe or in this case who is safe enough, right? Where do I need help and how can I reach out for help from someone who is (quote) ‘safe’ enough. Well, my trauma therapist is safe enough, right? Is she the safest person in the whole world with nothing wrong with her? No, but she’s safe enough for me. She’s safe, I’ve determined and just and acknowledged and discerned that she is a safe person and I reached out for help. My husband is a safe enough person you see, the safest person in the world. Is he perfect? Well, he never hurt my feelings as Higa is he always gonna be like the perfect? Safest person in the world. No, but he’s safe enough for me and I reached out for help from him for the pile that I have in the middle of the living room. So the radical act of self-care that I participated in on Friday was going to my trauma therapist and bringing to her my virtual version of the physical overwhelming mess that I have going on in my house, which is this big huge pile of stuff that needs to be sorted, like I have… right now in my living room, right now, like if I turned my camera around which I’m not going to do, because it would cause me a tremendous amount of anxiety, I have a pile of things that need to be sorted. Is it trash, is it stuff that’s going to be donated to Big Brothers and Big Sisters to help children who need help. Is it something that I’m going to save and sell at a yard sale or on eBay or give to someone I love, that I know they could use it or am I going to keep it? Am I gonna put it away in it’s place, right? And I was able to reach out to my husband who’s a safe enough person and I was able to tell him that I’m overwhelmed and I don’t know what to do and I want to complete my project, but I need help and he was able to say, absolutely, you just tell me what you need and all, I’ll help you and that was a huge source of relief for me. I can’t tell you… I can’t find the words in the English language that articulate precisely the feeling that I was experiencing with my husband when he was able to help me. I was so overwhelmed with gratitude, I almost cried. I was like, why didn’t I ask for help sooner and maybe on some deep level, I thought, well you got yourself into this mess, you’re the one that dumped all the closets out in the middle of the room. You thought it was brilliant idea because you’re like oh, yeah, we’ll just only put back what we need, we’ll get rid of everything else. It’ll be a fantastic idea, it worked for you previously, that’s your system, that’s what works for you Athena. So, you know, why would you ask your husband for help that you know you’re the one that got yourself into this mess, you can get yourself out of it, like there was that voice, right? Which is not necessarily the most helpful voice, and then let’s talk about the same concurrent process that’s going on side by side with the physical manifestation of what’s going on internally and that is with my trauma therapist. I brought in my big pile of swirly overwhelm about meeting up with, reconnecting and re-meeting my friend from high school with his girlfriend and his son and I got to tell you that in both instances, when I was able to just dump that big pile and allow somebody else to help me sort it and go through it. Do you want to know the tremendous feeling of relief and accomplishment and gratitude and joy, like tears of joy, like grateful to be alive Joy, like I don’t even know how to explain it to you and all it was is that I asked for help, that’s all it was. It takes a heart of humility, it takes discernment to be able to know is this person a safe enough person to ask for help. It takes courage to to ask for help and it takes energy and focus to be able to articulate what it is that you need help with,because people are not psychic. Again, my husband, not psychic. I needed to verbally share with him what it is that I needed help with. My trauma therapist, well, I believe that she’s like a supernatural unicorn manifestation of awesomeness, like not psychic, Sonya’s not psychic, I had to be able to articulate in words and tell her how I was feeling and what I needed help with and all the things that were swirling around and overwhelming me and causing me to feel paralyzed and in both cases, I asserted myself and I was vulnerable and I took a risk and I reached out and asked someone that I discerned was safe enough and I told them vulnerably what I needed help with and why and how overwhelmed I was feeling and I got to tell you, you guys there was a reward there, I was rewarded with such feelings of relief and joy and gratitude and calm and peace and I felt supported and I felt understood and I felt… Just I felt like I wasn’t all alone in it, you know, I mean, have you ever felt all alone? Right? It’s like it can be really difficult, it can be really scary to put yourself out there in a vulnerable way and ask for help, but I did it and I was rewarded for it and I got to tell you, I want to tell you the outcome of both before I let you go, okay? I know that it’s not that long of a video today, but my trauma therapist Sonya was able to reflect back to me what she saw in me. So that I could feel like it was possible to see myself the way she saw me and sort of embody what it was that she was describing. I couldn’t have done that on my own because I was too stuck in my trauma narrative, I was too stuck in my own lived experience and memories and my version of my own reality and you know I look in the mirror and my mirror is different than I see myself differently than she sees me It is so so so so so important for us to believe that it’s possible to see ourselves differently, to believe that it’s possible that other people see us differently than we see ourselves and Sonia was able to reflect back to me and help me visualize what it might feel like to walk into that meetup or free meeting or reconnecting with someone I hadn’t seen in 25 years along with his girlfriend and his son and my husband and what it might look like and what it might feel like to show up in a different way, thinking of myself in a different way and I am so excited to tell her how it went because the outcome was so much more positive than I could have anticipated and again, my friend is a wonderful person I had no reason to be afraid to meet up with him, I had no reason to be afraid of his son or his girlfriend, I had no reason to be afraid of my husband going with me, as you know,to meet up with them as well. It was all positive, but in my own head I was so stuck in my trauma narrative, right? And so my trauma therapist was able to work with me, we didn’t do EMDR, but we did like a future template, like what a template of my future would look like and she was able to help me energetically feel in my body what that might feel like and what that might be like and the way she did it since I’ve communicated with her in so many ways for so many years, I’ve been able to tell her like when you show something to me or you model it for me, I’m able to see what it looks like on you and then I’m able to adopt that as a best practice in my own life if I choose to do so and so she was able to help me change the way I saw myself and it was like, it was miraculous, it was like, oh my gosh I never in a million years could have thought that she could have done that all within the course of like less than an hour, she’s like a miracle worker for real. I was so paralyzed by my own trauma narrative and my own stuff. And do you want to know what my husband did? Like, now remember, we’re dealing with a physical manifestation of what’s going on on the inside of me, right? So on the inside of me I was feeling all these things and I just dumped an entire pile that looked like a big pile of crap in my therapists office and she was able to sit through it and reflect back to me what it was that she knew would help me in that moment and I was like completely blown away by her ability to do that. It was like, what, how in the world was she able you know, to know that that’s what I needed. And bottom line she just, she was… it was just… it was unbelievable. And so you want to know what my husband did, he worked an equally huge miracle, he could see, because I communicated what I needed, I had to be vulnerable, I had to ask for help and communicate my needs which is terrifying for a complex trauma survivor and you know, we are so used to dealing with people who are unsafe that when we communicate our needs when we’re younger our needs are not met and so we grow up into adults who are terrified to communicate their needs because we experience rejection is pay, only what we do as adults, don’t miss this, when we experience rejection as pain when we’re adults, part of our brain doesn’t realize that we’re adults now, part of our brain still thinks that were a child experiencing rejection as pain and abuse and we’re gonna die you know, like when you’re a child and you experience rejection, like your whole world is unsafe and you think you’re gonna die and so communicating your needs as an adult is a radical act of self-care, it’s a huge risk and I don’t recommend you do it unless you have discerned over time that the person you’re reaching out and communicating your needs to is a safe enough person, like your trauma therapist or like your spouse and you know, it’s super important that we’re able to discern who is safe versus who is not safe. And so my husband was able to work this miracle where I was vulnerable and I communicated my needs and he took the initiative and helped me sort out all these stuff and he did the hardest part in my book of all the work that I’m doing in the house, like it’s not done yet, but it’s almost done, you know, we made such a huge progress. For me, taking all of the trips of all the stuff out to the dumpster is absolutely terrifying, because when I was a child and I would go to throw something away I would get in trouble that I was wasting and I was told that I was ungrateful and so me taking all the trips out to the dumpster was terrifying and then… so not only did he take off all the trips and did all this stuff to the dumpster for me, so then he took all of the different bags of stuff for Big Brothers and Big Sisters for children that are struggling and need things, right? He took a whole carload of stuff to deliver to them and I have this fear of going, because every time I’ve ever tried to donate stuff, like many, not every time, I’m speaking hyperbolically, let me back up many times. When I try to donate items, they end up telling me that they’re unable to accept certain items because they have limits to like they can’t accept anything that’s glass, they have only certain types of books they can accept, they have you know, they don’t accept certain items of clothing, they don’t accept, you know house wear, like household items… certain household items and so that is rejection and I experience rejection as pain and then in addition to that, it’s compounded by the fact that I then have to put it in the dumpster which feels very unsafe to me and I realize I’m like a grown-ass woman and I’m sitting here describing to you like all I’m doing is cleaning and it’s shouldn’t be a big deal, but when you have a trauma narrative and a lived experience and a history that is similar to many people in our community where we were literally punished for everything, it can be terrifying and so it’s just hard. So I was able to communicate with my husband the things that I was struggling the most with even though it was embarrassing and I felt ashamed of part of it, but I was like, you know, what have I got to lose? What have I got to lose? I’m just gonna put myself out there, I’m just gonna tell him what I need help with and yeah, let’s do it and he was able to work a similar miracle too you know, he helped me go through stuff and deliver stuff out to the dumpster for me and drive a whole carload of stuff over for me and I was able to experience the satisfaction of knowing that I had almost completed the project that I started. So, it’s like, uh, you know what I mean, like it can just be really hard you guys, I just want you to know that like for… if you’re the type of a person who’s living with CPTSD symptoms as a result of adverse childhood? experiences or narcissistic abuse and you operate really,really,really well under pressure or in the midst of chaos or in a life-or-death situation, but like if you have a stack of bills on the counter it can paralyze you and you want to hide under the bed covers for a week, like you’re not alone. If you have like a bag of stuff that needs to be donated to Salvation Army and you literally can’t leave your house for two weeks, like you’re not alone, I just want you to know that you’re gonna make it through this. Certain stuff can feel really,really,really hard, stuff that people do everyday, like go to the bank and make a deposit or go to the market and pick up some groceries or you know, I mean it’s like you know, it’s just hard, you know, it can be hard, but in a pinch or in a crisis situation, I’m the first person my husband would call, you know, like when his mom fell, you know, we were just barely dating, we had only been dating for like I don’t know, what, like a few months and like he called me, he’s like hey, what are you doing? I’m like, oh I was just you know gonna like get a cup of coffee and then he had let me know that his mom had fallen and wanted to know if I could come over and help and I was like I’m like, oh yeah sure, yeah, absolutely, you know and like it was a crisis situation like the ambulance was coming. So if you deal with ambulances and crisis situations with ease and yet dealing with a stack of bills or doing a couple of dishes in the sink or a small pile of laundry or going to the market or to the post office or running an errand is something that paralyzes you, please know that this is very common for anyone living with CPTSD symptoms. Hey Miss Poppy, so happy to see you. We were sending you lots of love earlier, so happy to see you. I hope everything’s okay? Special thank you to Shannon and all of the Blue Wrench Crew, you all are so amazing. So this has been a great discussion about self care and I just got a message just now from the apartment complex, they need me to come by and pick something up and I’m gonna have to go do that, I’m gonna have to go pick that up right now before she closes, because the office is gonna close here before the top of the hour, so I gotta drive over there. Oh, someone says… Wait one second here. Leah says, why do these items overwhelm us? Leah, do me a favor, type in the word “Executive functioning” into Google and sort of go down the rabbit hole and look into executive functioning and then also type in the words learned helplessness and go down the rabbit hole and look into and do some research.Executive functioning, yes, exactly, executive functioning and then two more words Leah, “learned helplessness” Oh, thanks so much for the love you guys, thanks for all the thumbs up, y’all are so amazing. You don’t realize how much those thumbs up are are helping the channel, we’ve quadrupled in size over the past like two years because of your thumbs up. I started asking you all to give a thumbs up to the videos if it was helpful, so thank you. Yeah, learned helplessness Leah and executive functioning, those will help you so much. Thank you so much Poppy, everyone, you all take care. I’m gonna go pick up a box, they need me to go pick something up, so I will see you guys back here next Monday 6 p.m. Pacific/9 p.m Eastern If you like having conversations like this, I do this every single day, 365 days a year, there’s a link that I think Shannon and Poppy will put in the chat box right now, it’s over to my website CPTSDFoundation.org. We have daily calls. It’s called daily recovery support calls and we talked for 45 minutes ish, sometimes it’s 50 minutes, but we try to keep it to 45, every single day on different topics. There’s a calendar of topics that we talk about. CPTSDFoundation.org and or if that’s not your cup of tea, we have a healing book club and you can access information about the healing book club at CPTSDFoundation.org and all the… I think it’s like five dollars a month for book club. We meet every single week and we read through trauma books. And thank you so much for everything you all. Yes, executive functioning and learned helplessness, exactly. Thank you all so much, have a wonderful week and if I don’t see you over on the daily calls, then I’ll see you back here next Monday 6 p.m. Pacific/9 p.m. Eastern and every Monday every single Monday 6 p.m. Pacific/9 p.m. Eastern. Occasionally I skip, but rarely,rarely,rarely. So be kind to yourselves, okay? Be kind and gentle, okay? Be kind and gentle with yourselves because your